HELP! New gardener in over her head?

by Betty
(Minnesota)

Once upon a time I tried gardening. I planted my seeds and watered them diligently. I used miracle gro according to the instructions and picked out the "weeds" as they grew. Soon, I had very lush thick plants in my little garden. I was so proud! Then my father informed me that they were all weeds when I questioned him as to why they were getting about a foot tall and none of them were flowering. I had the most beautiful weeds ever. Sooo..Imagine my horror when my boyfriend and I bought and moved into a house with 10 big established gardens! I was the sole caretaker to plants such as: columbine, hollyhock, iris, bellflower, peony, gladiolas(those were adopted out) daffodil, sundrop, hen and chick, several hostas, liliy-of-the-valley, several small wild flowers, ferns, rose bushes, regular bushes and trees(some with berries), lilac bushes, walnut trees, vegetable garden, several ornamental grasses, and about 8-10 more plants I have not been able to identify. The first year I carried a book about perennials around the garden, made notes, talked extensively to gardeners, watered, weeded (after I was sure I wasn't picking flowers) and worried everyday that I was going to single handedly kill everything in sight.
Here is my problem: Weeds. They are everywhere! It takes a full day to weed all the gardens and then I have to start all over again in a couple of days.
What do I mulch and what don't I? And when?
What do I cut after bloom time and what do I leave? One site said it was safe to cut the peonies after blooming, one site said to NEVER cut back after bloom time.
I usually leave everything as is for the winter, cover with leaves and uncover in the spring, is this okay for all the flowers? I don't think my iris' were fond of that one. They don't seem to be growing back as thick. (personally, I think some of them ran away and found an experienced gardener to look after them)
Some of the flowers develop a purple blister on the leaves. No one seems to know what this is.
Some of the gardens had borders, some did not. Both types are being attacked by grass. The grass is winning.
Just to give you an idea of the grass/weed problem, I can fill an entire big wheel barrel with said grass/weeds twice in one day of weeding. Not a regular wheel barrel..The really big plastic ones that hook up to a four-wheeler or moderate pack of sled dogs or a couple of the budweiser horses.
Is there anything I can do to mitigate the weed problem? An inexpensive way? What are the purple blisters on some of the plants? Do I need psychological help for taking all this on and why in Gods name did I also go out and acquire 10 pots for annuals?

And, the squirrels keep stealing my walnuts.


Doug says LOL! Let's deal with the two big questions here.

1) Are you crazy? Probably. Welcome to the gardening crazy club - it's an old, venerable group of people who simply go batty when presented with a new plant or new flower or something they haven't grown before. You've entered the hallow halls of gardenerdom. It's a lifelong journey of asking questions - and they don't stop btw, I ask as many if not more questions now than when I started but that's part of the experience. Mind you, at a certain age it becomes part of the challenge too. :-) It's one reason you'll never meet "old gardeners" - you might meet elderly people gardening but there's something about gardening that keeps you young in spirit.

As for all the "why" questions, I can only pose the reverse - "Why not!?". Indeed. :-)

Mulch - get it! Put whatever you like the look of onto your garden. Do it whenever you can afford it because this is going to make the difference between having a garden and having a nightmare of work. Get it 3-4 inches thick - a permanent mulch - and don't cover the crowns of plants (it will rot them) You'll lose a few plants (Aquilegia) that self-sow regularly because the mulch stops them from germinating as much as it does the weeds. You can put all these small self-sowers in a special non-mulched bed or you can simply accept they won't thrive in your muched garden (I used to grow them on the gravel pathways rather than in the mulched gardens)

So - it's a learning curve - it gets easier as your progress but it can be daunting indeed at the beginning when you've just landed in the midst of a garden-feast.

Start reading! For example, there's a ton of stuff on my perennial site that should keep you going for ages.

And remember - they're only plants. They can be replaced if they die (and they will btw). The important thing is all this is that *you* relax and enjoy the process of learning. Don't let it become a "problem" (get mulch!) but rather learn to spend time out there with a cup of coffee and simply absorb what you know are surrounded by.

And indeed - welcome to gardenerdom.